The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book


    Impress your friends and startle your enemies with a never-ending* series of incredible facts, figures and news reports, all of which are COMPLETELY UNTRUE! Why waste time on the truth when complete rubbish is so much more interesting?

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    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

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Archive for November, 2009

Giant Lizards vs New York

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 30, 2009

The Beast From 20000 Fathoms

Based on a true story

The film The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms was based on a real life incident in 1952 where a three foot tall lizard ran amok in New York, causing thirty dollars worth of damage and biting several people, three of whom needed medical attention.

Rampaging lizards – some radioactive and fire-breathing – have long been a problem for the city, which was built over an ancient dinosaur mating ground.


Posted in Film and TV, History, Horror, Nature | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Famous First Drafts

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 30, 2009

Sir Woofsalot

Sir Woofsalot offered invaluable assistance to Sherlock Holmes

Many literary works began life in radically different forms before seeing print as the versions we know and love today.

Conan Doyle’s famous creation Sherlock Holmes is known for his friendship with Dr Watson, but originally, he was paired with a cheeky street urchin called Tinker and a  talking dog named Sir Woofsalot, who offered psychological insight into the motives of the Hound of the Baskervilles.

Before becoming a vampire, Bram Stoker’s Dracula started out as a sinsister purveyor of foreign foods called Dr Eel, operating from a gothic takeaway in Whitby.

Dr Fu Manchu is known as a Chinese criminal genius, but was originally a Welsh supervillain, Dai Dai Dai, intent on spreading the Welsh language across the globe.

The working title of Dr Zhivago was Elephants I Have Known Intimately, and had a radically different – and somewhat controversial – plot line.

Posted in Art and Culture, Facts and Figures, Horror, Literature | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cannibalism in Bolivia

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 29, 2009

Cannibalism in Bolivia

Bolivia's cannibal feasts are family affairs

Cannibalism remains legal in Bolivia, and is often used to settle family disputes. Each year, the nation celebrates The Feast of Anthropophagy, where – during a three day public holiday – the sick and the elderly are consumed in huge street parties that have become popular tourist attractions.

Posted in Facts and Figures, Folklore & Superstition, Horror, National Trends, Places, Religion, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Origins of Cockney Speak

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 29, 2009

pearly king and queen

Cockernis had a primitive facination with shiny objects

Cockney Rhyming Slang was invented in 1974 by the CIA as a way of transmitting coded messages to agents across the world.

It was based loosely on the lost native language of the Cockerni tribe of East London, a small and inbred group of proto-humans that thrived in the Bronze Age. Cockernis were noted for their peculiar forms of native dance, which they would break into at the drop of a wallet, and their fascination for adorning their bodies with shiny beads and pebbles (or ‘pearls’ as they called them). The tribe was ruled over by a King and Queen, who were more often than not both brother and sister and husband and wife, and survived for many centuries before being wiped out in a violent civil war.

Posted in Crime, Folklore & Superstition, History | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Most Expensive Film of All Time

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 28, 2009

The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!

This hugely expensive special effects spectacular sadly bombed at the box office

The most expensive film ever made is 1972 production The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!, made by director Andy Milligan. The film cost a staggering $350 million to produce, mainly due to Milligan’s insistence on multiple takes of each scene, and the ground-breaking special effects used to stage spectacular fight scenes between werewolves and rats.

Unfortunately, the film was beset with post-production difficulties and distribution problems compounded by cinemas being unable to cope with the 360 degree projection format and live, hungry rats that were released in the theatre at key points in the film. The eventual box-office take was a disappointing $37.50.


Posted in Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Horror, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Tallest And The Shortest

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 28, 2009

The Tallest and the Shortest

Big Jim and Little Johnny make quite a team

The tallest man in the world is Big Jim Pigslugger of Akron, who stands an impressive 5ft 3in (1.61 metres) tall.

The world’s shortest man is John ‘ Johnny’ Phaal of Phuket, Thailand, who is a mere 5ft 1in (1.55 metres) in height.

Posted in Facts and Figures, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Digital (Watch) Revolution

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 27, 2009

The First Digital Watch

Wearing a digital watch remains a sign of sophistication

The Digital Watch was invented in 1836 by Parisian Gaston Digital. His early version combined a time-piece with a soldering iron and smoothie maker, and was hugely popular with continental fashionistas.

Posted in Facts and Figures, Technology | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Britain’s Worst Serial Killer

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 27, 2009

Georeg Formby, Britain's worst serial killer

One, Two, Formby's Coming For You...

Britain’s most notorious serial killer is George Formby, the Lancashire Slasher. Over a thirty year period, Formby carried out at least fifty murders, using a metal pipe that he would sinisterly call his “little stick of Blackpool rock”.

Formby used his job as a window cleaner to select his victims, spying on them to see if they were alone before breaking in and murdering them in their beds.

Most disturbing is the fact that Formby became a successful recording artist, and would make subtle references to his crimes within his songs. It was only when he released the rather too obvious I Am the Lancashire Slasher that he was apprehended.

In court, he blamed his crimes on a mysterious Chinaman named Mr Wu, who only he could see or hear. This defence was initially rejected, but after conviction, Formby’s mental state deteriorated, and he was confined to Broadmoor, where he still lives, aged 105.

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Facts and Figures, Horror, Music | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Gorilla Wins Booker Prize

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 27, 2009

Woodrow Davis, award-winning author

Mr Davis is one of our most exciting new writers

The 2009 Booker Prize was won by Woodrow Davis, a 27 year old Western Lowland Gorilla, currently living in Ealing. Mr Davis’ book, The Silent Recoil, is a searingly honest, semi-autobiographical piece that  combines scenes from his childhood with a stinging critique of the Iraq war.

Mr Davis is the brother of artist Trevor Davis, who last year was a Turner Prize finalist with his work Bed of Leaves, Bamboo Shoots and Lots of Excrement.

Posted in Art and Culture, Nature, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The World’s Greatest Lover

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 26, 2009

Jimmy Cricket, the World's Greatest Lover

And there's more - in his pants

The title of World’s Greatest Lover is often open to debate, but most experts agree that it is Irish comedian Jimmy Cricket, 64, who is estimated to have bedded over 10,000 women, beating Bernard Manning’s record by an astonishing 10,000. Cricket, who currently lives in a Hollywood mansion surrounded by teenage models, puts his success down to his sensitivity and romantic nature. And a very large penis.

Posted in Celebrity, Sexuality, World Records | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »