The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

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    Impress your friends and startle your enemies with a never-ending* series of incredible facts, figures and news reports, all of which are COMPLETELY UNTRUE! Why waste time on the truth when complete rubbish is so much more interesting?

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

Archive for the ‘Art and Culture’ Category

Portugal’s Favourite Film

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on July 23, 2010

One in seven Portuguese people have seen Lord of the G-Strings

The most successful film at the Portuguese box office is the historical epic Lord of the G-Strings – The Femaleship of the String, directed in 2003 by Terry West. Praised for its documentary realism and epic battle scenes, the film struck a particular chord with the audiences of Lisbon, where the film played continually for over over four years, with star Misty Mundae being a regular guest on local TV quiz shows.

Posted in Art and Culture, Celebrity, Film and TV, Sexuality, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Facebook Wants Your Babies!

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on January 14, 2010

Satan Loves Facebook

Satan - the CEO of Facebook

Facebook fans should sign up to our new group, helping prevent the site from enacting it’s new sinister plans.

Starting this summer, Facebook – headed by Satan – will start charging people $100 a day JUST FOR OWNING A COMPUTER! They will also be demanding the sacrifice all all first born children to their God Cthulhu and be setting up death camps for all Myspace, Bebo and Twitter users.

The Big Book of Bad Wisdom has exclusive information that Facebook is in fact run by Satan, who is working in collaboration with Venusian invaders determined to enslave humanity. However, if a mere one billion people join this group, the slimy invaders will rethink their plans, and Satan will relinquish his hold on your soul – and, more importantly, not charge you to throw virtual sheep at people.

Sign up here

Posted in Art and Culture, Folklore & Superstition, Technology, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Something for the Weekend – a bumper collection of mini-lies

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 5, 2009

* Bankers work hard and deserve every penny they get

* Politicians only have your best interests at heart

* British television is the best in the world

* Religious groups promote tolerance and understanding

* Everyone loves football and is really excited about the World Cup

* Mark Kermode is Britain’s best film critic

* Fighting the war in Afghanistan reduces the threat of terrorist attacks back home

* Simon Cowell is the saviour of music

* Daily Mail readers are a tolerant, considered group

* Stephen King is a lazy slacker

Posted in Art and Culture, Celebrity, Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Music, National Trends, Politics, Religion, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Famous First Drafts

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 30, 2009

Sir Woofsalot

Sir Woofsalot offered invaluable assistance to Sherlock Holmes

Many literary works began life in radically different forms before seeing print as the versions we know and love today.

Conan Doyle’s famous creation Sherlock Holmes is known for his friendship with Dr Watson, but originally, he was paired with a cheeky street urchin called Tinker and a  talking dog named Sir Woofsalot, who offered psychological insight into the motives of the Hound of the Baskervilles.

Before becoming a vampire, Bram Stoker’s Dracula started out as a sinsister purveyor of foreign foods called Dr Eel, operating from a gothic takeaway in Whitby.

Dr Fu Manchu is known as a Chinese criminal genius, but was originally a Welsh supervillain, Dai Dai Dai, intent on spreading the Welsh language across the globe.

The working title of Dr Zhivago was Elephants I Have Known Intimately, and had a radically different – and somewhat controversial – plot line.

Posted in Art and Culture, Facts and Figures, Horror, Literature | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Gorilla Wins Booker Prize

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 27, 2009

Woodrow Davis, award-winning author

Mr Davis is one of our most exciting new writers

The 2009 Booker Prize was won by Woodrow Davis, a 27 year old Western Lowland Gorilla, currently living in Ealing. Mr Davis’ book, The Silent Recoil, is a searingly honest, semi-autobiographical piece that  combines scenes from his childhood with a stinging critique of the Iraq war.

Mr Davis is the brother of artist Trevor Davis, who last year was a Turner Prize finalist with his work Bed of Leaves, Bamboo Shoots and Lots of Excrement.

Posted in Art and Culture, Nature, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

TV’s First Gay Kiss

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 26, 2009

Lord Reith, horror star and gay icon

Hello Big Boy!

The first gay kiss on British television occurred in 1936, when BBC founder Lord Reith – previously the star of silent horror classic Nosferatu – and cockney comic Max Miller engaged in a graphic five minute smooch during the controversial show Gracie Fields’ Fist of Fun. However, all copies of the show – alongside the equally ground-breaking Wee Frolics – were wiped during a purge in the 1950’s.

Posted in Art and Culture, Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Horror, Sexuality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »