The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

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    Impress your friends and startle your enemies with a never-ending* series of incredible facts, figures and news reports, all of which are COMPLETELY UNTRUE! Why waste time on the truth when complete rubbish is so much more interesting?

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

Archive for the ‘Film and TV’ Category

Portugal’s Favourite Film

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on July 23, 2010

One in seven Portuguese people have seen Lord of the G-Strings

The most successful film at the Portuguese box office is the historical epic Lord of the G-Strings – The Femaleship of the String, directed in 2003 by Terry West. Praised for its documentary realism and epic battle scenes, the film struck a particular chord with the audiences of Lisbon, where the film played continually for over over four years, with star Misty Mundae being a regular guest on local TV quiz shows.

Posted in Art and Culture, Celebrity, Film and TV, Sexuality, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The World’s Sexiest Woman

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on July 22, 2010

Hylda Baker, Sex Goddess

Actress and pop star Hylda Baker has topped FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World list for the third year running. This is despite her dying in 1986.

Posted in Celebrity, Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Music, Sexuality | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Mass Murder Live on British TV

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on July 22, 2010

Geoffrey is caught on camera as he bludgeons his co-stars

In 1987, Rainbow presenter Geoffrey snapped during a live TV broadcast, and bludgeoned his co-stars Zippy, George and Bungle, as well as platinum-selling musical combo Rod, Jane and Freddie, before finally turning the hammer on himself. No reason has ever been given for the killings, which remained Britain’s worst children’s TV-related murder incident until the infamous Tinky Winky massacre ten years later.

The footage is now a popular staple on bloopers shows.

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Film and TV | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Something for the Weekend – a bumper collection of mini-lies

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 5, 2009

* Bankers work hard and deserve every penny they get

* Politicians only have your best interests at heart

* British television is the best in the world

* Religious groups promote tolerance and understanding

* Everyone loves football and is really excited about the World Cup

* Mark Kermode is Britain’s best film critic

* Fighting the war in Afghanistan reduces the threat of terrorist attacks back home

* Simon Cowell is the saviour of music

* Daily Mail readers are a tolerant, considered group

* Stephen King is a lazy slacker

Posted in Art and Culture, Celebrity, Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Music, National Trends, Politics, Religion, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Norah Jones and Ivor the Engine

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 3, 2009

Ivor the Engine

Jones the Steam was shocked when Mrs Portly abandoned their child in a basket at the station

Singer Norah Jones is the daughter of famous animated character Jones the Steam, best known for his role in popular documentary series Ivor the Engine. She grew up in the cartoon Welsh village of Merioneth and Llantisilly, where her father worked for the local railway station.

She is the result of a torrid affair between Jones and company owner Mrs Portly – who refused to have anything to do with the child – and first learnt her craft at the knee of local songmeister Evans the Song.

Posted in Celebrity, Film and TV, Places | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Tinky Winky BBC Massacre

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 2, 2009

Tinky Winky on the rampage

Tinky Winky was a gun-obsessed coke fiend

The worst massacre in the bloody history of children’s television came in 1997, when Teletubby Tinky Winky went on a PCP-fuelled rampage, killing six and injuring dozens more.

The masscare began when it was announced that the Teletubbies TV series was to be cancelled. Tinky Winky, who in addition to having a serious cocaine habit was known as a ‘gun nut’ and loose cannon, began to panic about how he would pay for his expensive lifestyle and huge gambling debts, believing that the successful series had effectively typecast him.

After a day of drinking and drug-taking, the deranged Tubby entered the BBC’s headquarters and opened fire at random. Ironically, among those killed was the now-retired Andy Pandy, who was at the studios to be interviewed for an episode of World’s Greatest Wooden Puppets, and who was one of Tinky Winky’s idols.

Eventually, after a five hour standoff with police, Tinky Winky took his own life. The case later led to new government legislation that banned furry children’s TV characters from owning handguns.

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Death, Film and TV, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Giant Lizards vs New York

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 30, 2009

The Beast From 20000 Fathoms

Based on a true story

The film The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms was based on a real life incident in 1952 where a three foot tall lizard ran amok in New York, causing thirty dollars worth of damage and biting several people, three of whom needed medical attention.

Rampaging lizards – some radioactive and fire-breathing – have long been a problem for the city, which was built over an ancient dinosaur mating ground.

Posted in Film and TV, History, Horror, Nature | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Most Expensive Film of All Time

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 28, 2009

The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!

This hugely expensive special effects spectacular sadly bombed at the box office

The most expensive film ever made is 1972 production The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!, made by director Andy Milligan. The film cost a staggering $350 million to produce, mainly due to Milligan’s insistence on multiple takes of each scene, and the ground-breaking special effects used to stage spectacular fight scenes between werewolves and rats.

Unfortunately, the film was beset with post-production difficulties and distribution problems compounded by cinemas being unable to cope with the 360 degree projection format and live, hungry rats that were released in the theatre at key points in the film. The eventual box-office take was a disappointing $37.50.

 

Posted in Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Horror, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

TV’s First Gay Kiss

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 26, 2009

Lord Reith, horror star and gay icon

Hello Big Boy!

The first gay kiss on British television occurred in 1936, when BBC founder Lord Reith – previously the star of silent horror classic Nosferatu – and cockney comic Max Miller engaged in a graphic five minute smooch during the controversial show Gracie Fields’ Fist of Fun. However, all copies of the show – alongside the equally ground-breaking Wee Frolics – were wiped during a purge in the 1950’s.

Posted in Art and Culture, Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Horror, Sexuality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

William Shatner, Chilli Champion

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 26, 2009

William Shatner Loves Hot Chilli Peppers

The 38th chilli was one too far for Shatner

Actor William Shatner holds the world Chilli Pepper Eating Record, having consumed 37 brutally hot Red Savina peppers in just one minute during a 1966 contest organised by TV producer Gene Rodenberry.  It was this remarkable stamina that ultimately gained him the role of Captain Kirk in Star Trek; his predecessor, Jeffrey Hunter, had managed a measly four peppers before giving up, casting doubts on his ability to play the sort of man who would have sex with a different alien species every week.

Posted in Celebrity, Film and TV, Food and Drink | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »