The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

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    Impress your friends and startle your enemies with a never-ending* series of incredible facts, figures and news reports, all of which are COMPLETELY UNTRUE! Why waste time on the truth when complete rubbish is so much more interesting?

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

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Archive for the ‘History’ Category

Ikea and the Vikings

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 8, 2009

Viking Boat

The first flat pack Viking boat


Ikea first opened in 710 in Sweden, and became instantly popular with neighbouring Vikings, who enjoyed the convenience of flat-packed raiding ships that came with a variety of interchangeable mastheads.

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Posted in Facts and Figures, History | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

The Royal Family are Aliens

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 3, 2009

Ming the Merciless

Ming the Merciless is seventh in line for the British throne

Britain’s Royal Family are descended from aliens.

Queen Elizabeth II, her ill-informed, gobby son and the rest of the royal pack – both legitimate and otherwise – can trace their lineage back to invading Venusians in 1765. The aliens landed in Britain and kidnapped George III, forcing him to procreate with the Venusian Queen. The couple eventually fell in love, and moved back to Earth, where her offspring eventually inherited the British throne.

The British-Venusian Royal connection was severed when the reigning Vensuian Queen Minginella converted to Catholicism in 1843. In more recent years, however, the Venusians have reverted back to their original faith and so are now a full part of the royal lineage again.

Posted in History, Politics, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Giant Lizards vs New York

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 30, 2009

The Beast From 20000 Fathoms

Based on a true story

The film The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms was based on a real life incident in 1952 where a three foot tall lizard ran amok in New York, causing thirty dollars worth of damage and biting several people, three of whom needed medical attention.

Rampaging lizards – some radioactive and fire-breathing – have long been a problem for the city, which was built over an ancient dinosaur mating ground.

Posted in Film and TV, History, Horror, Nature | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Origins of Cockney Speak

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 29, 2009

pearly king and queen

Cockernis had a primitive facination with shiny objects

Cockney Rhyming Slang was invented in 1974 by the CIA as a way of transmitting coded messages to agents across the world.

It was based loosely on the lost native language of the Cockerni tribe of East London, a small and inbred group of proto-humans that thrived in the Bronze Age. Cockernis were noted for their peculiar forms of native dance, which they would break into at the drop of a wallet, and their fascination for adorning their bodies with shiny beads and pebbles (or ‘pearls’ as they called them). The tribe was ruled over by a King and Queen, who were more often than not both brother and sister and husband and wife, and survived for many centuries before being wiped out in a violent civil war.

Posted in Crime, Folklore & Superstition, History | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »