The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

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Archive for the ‘Nature’ Category

The Most Intelligent Animal

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 10, 2009

goldfish

Goldfish are now essential members of any scientific team

The most intelligent species of animal is the goldfish.

With a brain only slightly smaller than a human’s, the fish is noted for its highly sophisticated social structure and ability to learn. In the wild, goldfish live in communal groups, each individual building a sturdy nest for itself.

In California, scientists have successfully taught goldfish to recognise over three hundred words, and many of them are now working with NASA on the planned manned trips to Mars.

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Posted in Facts and Figures, Nature | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Giant Lizards vs New York

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 30, 2009

The Beast From 20000 Fathoms

Based on a true story

The film The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms was based on a real life incident in 1952 where a three foot tall lizard ran amok in New York, causing thirty dollars worth of damage and biting several people, three of whom needed medical attention.

Rampaging lizards – some radioactive and fire-breathing – have long been a problem for the city, which was built over an ancient dinosaur mating ground.

Posted in Film and TV, History, Horror, Nature | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Gorilla Wins Booker Prize

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 27, 2009

Woodrow Davis, award-winning author

Mr Davis is one of our most exciting new writers

The 2009 Booker Prize was won by Woodrow Davis, a 27 year old Western Lowland Gorilla, currently living in Ealing. Mr Davis’ book, The Silent Recoil, is a searingly honest, semi-autobiographical piece that  combines scenes from his childhood with a stinging critique of the Iraq war.

Mr Davis is the brother of artist Trevor Davis, who last year was a Turner Prize finalist with his work Bed of Leaves, Bamboo Shoots and Lots of Excrement.

Posted in Art and Culture, Nature, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Britain’s Favourite Pet – the Dung Beetle

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 26, 2009

Britain's Favourite Pet - the Dung Beetle

Every home should have one!

For the third year in a row, the Dung Beetle is Britain’s most popular pet, with one in three homes having at least one of the industrious little creatures. Reasons cited for their popularity include the fact that they are easy to keep, affectionate and quiet. They are especially popular with the elderly and the incontinent.

The four other pets to rank highly this year are fleas, really big and aggressive dogs, Leprechauns and Belgians.

Posted in Facts and Figures, National Trends, Nature, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

President Mouse

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 25, 2009

The First Family of Bavaria

The First Family of Bavaria

The President of Bavaria is a mouse named Stan, who has held the position for twelve years.

Posted in Facts and Figures, Nature, Politics, World Events | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Most Dangerous Game

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 25, 2009

Evil Water Vole

I'm coming for your whole family!

The most dangerous animal in the world is the water vole, known for its short temper and lust for human blood. In 2005 – the last year that figures were released – over 45,000 people worldwide were killed by vole attacks, with thousands more injured. A water vole can strip the flesh from a human being in less than 60 seconds, and rabid packs of the furry killers are now to be found in most country villages, where they are both feared and worshipped by local inbreds.

Posted in Death, Horror, Nature | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

One Eyed Monsters

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 25, 2009

You looking at me?

Both British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and right wing BNP leader Nick Griffin lost an eye while engaged in the dangerous and illegal sport of marmoset wrestling. The sport was outlawed in 1977 after a series of underground ‘marmo-fight’ clubs were uncovered in Wales, where Brown and Griffin were living in a squat together, fighting for money to support their egg habits.

Posted in Crime, Nature, Politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »