The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

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Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Action Man treated as a God

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 7, 2009

Action Man Nazi

Action Man - the New God

The Watabudi tribe in Africa worship a vintage 1970’s Action Man doll, who is dressed as a Nazi Stormtrooper. No one knows how the collectable figure arrived there, but the cult is showing signs of spreading across the world.

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Posted in Facts and Figures, Folklore & Superstition, Places, Religion, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Something for the Weekend – a bumper collection of mini-lies

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 5, 2009

* Bankers work hard and deserve every penny they get

* Politicians only have your best interests at heart

* British television is the best in the world

* Religious groups promote tolerance and understanding

* Everyone loves football and is really excited about the World Cup

* Mark Kermode is Britain’s best film critic

* Fighting the war in Afghanistan reduces the threat of terrorist attacks back home

* Simon Cowell is the saviour of music

* Daily Mail readers are a tolerant, considered group

* Stephen King is a lazy slacker

Posted in Art and Culture, Celebrity, Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Music, National Trends, Politics, Religion, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Pope Is A Former Male Stripper

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 4, 2009

Chippendales

The Pope (right) with former colleagues

Pope Benedict XVI is a former Chippendales dancer.

During the late 1970’s and 1980’s, Pope Benedict  – real name Joseph Ratzinger – danced under the name ‘Stallion’ with the popular US-based male strip troupe, performing across the world. In a 1987 interview, he boasted of bedding over 1000 women in an interview for Playgirl, where he was also photographed nude.

He was fired from the group in 1989, after a hardcore gay porn film came to light, featuring the future Pope as Johnny Thruster. Although he denied the actor shown was him, the scandal cost him his job.

After an unsuccessful acting career under the name Joey Ratz, he eventually drifted into the Catholic church in 1992, attracted by the gaudy costumes.

Posted in Celebrity, Religion, Sexuality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Royal Family are Aliens

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 3, 2009

Ming the Merciless

Ming the Merciless is seventh in line for the British throne

Britain’s Royal Family are descended from aliens.

Queen Elizabeth II, her ill-informed, gobby son and the rest of the royal pack – both legitimate and otherwise – can trace their lineage back to invading Venusians in 1765. The aliens landed in Britain and kidnapped George III, forcing him to procreate with the Venusian Queen. The couple eventually fell in love, and moved back to Earth, where her offspring eventually inherited the British throne.

The British-Venusian Royal connection was severed when the reigning Vensuian Queen Minginella converted to Catholicism in 1843. In more recent years, however, the Venusians have reverted back to their original faith and so are now a full part of the royal lineage again.

Posted in History, Politics, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Cannibalism in Bolivia

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 29, 2009

Cannibalism in Bolivia

Bolivia's cannibal feasts are family affairs

Cannibalism remains legal in Bolivia, and is often used to settle family disputes. Each year, the nation celebrates The Feast of Anthropophagy, where – during a three day public holiday – the sick and the elderly are consumed in huge street parties that have become popular tourist attractions.

Posted in Facts and Figures, Folklore & Superstition, Horror, National Trends, Places, Religion, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Morris Dancers in Myth and Legend

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 25, 2009

Morris Dancers performing a pagan ritual

Morris Dancers were said to gather in small villages to search for puppies

There are numerous tales in English folklore and traditions surrounding the mythical creatures known as Morris Dancers.

In Devon, it is illegal to disembowel a Morris Dancer between the hours of 3pm and 7pm, except on public holidays.

In Cornwall, you may legally shoot a Morris Dancer should he knock at your door and demand four Garibaldi biscuits.

In London, it is said that should a pregnant woman see a Morris Dancer eating a banana fritter, she will give birth to a three-headed baby.

In Exeter, Morris Dancing is banned under pain of torture. Thanks to poor wording, this law also extends to anyone named Morris who is found dancing.

Superstition claims that Morris Dancers will steal first-born puppies for unholy sacrifices where they will summon up the Lord of the Dance on St Swithin’s Day. Even now, dog breeders will try to avoid mating with their dogs in the months before, should the birth occur around this time.

However, in recent years, the Morrismen Defence League (MDL) has tried to counter such claims, and is pressuring the government to enact a Morris Rights Law that will see the cult accepted as an authentic religion.

Posted in Folklore & Superstition, Places, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »