The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

  • TIRED OF THE TRUTH?

    Impress your friends and startle your enemies with a never-ending* series of incredible facts, figures and news reports, all of which are COMPLETELY UNTRUE! Why waste time on the truth when complete rubbish is so much more interesting?

    We update DAILY* so come back and bone up on the latest in complete and utter bollocks regularly!

    * - this may also be a lie.

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

Posts Tagged ‘bad wisdom’

Arthur St John Bodysnatcher Released from Prison

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 6, 2011

St John Bodysnatcher, watched over by prison guard 'Brutus'.

Big Book of Lies founder Arthur St John Bodysnatcher is at last free after spending 18 months in a Bolivian prison, having been falsely convicted of running a bare knuckle ocelot fighting ring. Kept under 24 hour guard to prevent his escape or possibly spreading eruditeness throughout the prison, St John Bodysnatcher was unable to communicate with Jabber Grimshaw and pass him the closely guarded Book of Lies password – also, as a functional illiterate and leading Mason, Grimshaw was incapable of maintaining the site in any case.

While still recovering from his ordeal, St John Bodysnatcher would like to assure his female admirers that he is determined to not allow this setback to slow him down, and is even now making plans for new, more extravagant lies, possibly performed live over the summer at top skiffle events.

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Posted in Bad Wisdom Info, Celebrity, Crime, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

We Have Returned!

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on July 22, 2010

Arthur St John Bodysnatcher is escorted to prison by four burly Siberian guards

It’s been some months since the last Big Book of Lies entry, and we feel that you are owed an explanation. It’s a dark and sordid tale…

In January, Big Book of Lies founder Arthur St John Bodysnatcher was arrested by police on the Turkish / Australian border, as he heroically attempted to smuggle fifty politically oppressed Marmosets out of Brazil. Sentenced to 427 years in prison, he found himself captive in a Siberian hellhole, where he survived by teaching inmates how to build working models of Brian Blessed from mashed potatoes and sweat. He also trained a local eagle to carry a message to Lies co-founder Jabber Grimshaw, who immediately began work on a tunnel that would stretch from Lies HQ in Scunthorpe to the walls of St John Bodysnatcher’s cell.

This task was completed in July, and our heroes sprang to freedom (though sadly, the fate of the Marmosets remains unknown). After a stiff cup of tea, St John Bodysnatcher declared that his important educational work found here should continue. And so it shall. Stay tuned for more amazing facts and figures, all entirely inaccurate.

Posted in Bad Wisdom Info, Celebrity, Places, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Weekly Round Up

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 6, 2009

Catch up on any amazing non-facts you might have missed!

Bananas – the silent killer

The Biggest Ever Gig

Famous First Drafts

Giant Lizards vs New York

Latvian Old Schoolers

Norah Jones and Ivor the Engine

Nosferatu was part of the British Government

The Pope is a Former Male Stripper

The Royal Family are Aliens

Something for the Weekend

The Tinky Winky BBC Massacre

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »