The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book


    Impress your friends and startle your enemies with a never-ending* series of incredible facts, figures and news reports, all of which are COMPLETELY UNTRUE! Why waste time on the truth when complete rubbish is so much more interesting?

    We update DAILY* so come back and bone up on the latest in complete and utter bollocks regularly!

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    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

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Posts Tagged ‘Folklore’

Cannibalism in Bolivia

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 29, 2009

Cannibalism in Bolivia

Bolivia's cannibal feasts are family affairs

Cannibalism remains legal in Bolivia, and is often used to settle family disputes. Each year, the nation celebrates The Feast of Anthropophagy, where – during a three day public holiday – the sick and the elderly are consumed in huge street parties that have become popular tourist attractions.


Posted in Facts and Figures, Folklore & Superstition, Horror, National Trends, Places, Religion, World Events | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Origins of Cockney Speak

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 29, 2009

pearly king and queen

Cockernis had a primitive facination with shiny objects

Cockney Rhyming Slang was invented in 1974 by the CIA as a way of transmitting coded messages to agents across the world.

It was based loosely on the lost native language of the Cockerni tribe of East London, a small and inbred group of proto-humans that thrived in the Bronze Age. Cockernis were noted for their peculiar forms of native dance, which they would break into at the drop of a wallet, and their fascination for adorning their bodies with shiny beads and pebbles (or ‘pearls’ as they called them). The tribe was ruled over by a King and Queen, who were more often than not both brother and sister and husband and wife, and survived for many centuries before being wiped out in a violent civil war.

Posted in Crime, Folklore & Superstition, History | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Morris Dancers in Myth and Legend

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 25, 2009

Morris Dancers performing a pagan ritual

Morris Dancers were said to gather in small villages to search for puppies

There are numerous tales in English folklore and traditions surrounding the mythical creatures known as Morris Dancers.

In Devon, it is illegal to disembowel a Morris Dancer between the hours of 3pm and 7pm, except on public holidays.

In Cornwall, you may legally shoot a Morris Dancer should he knock at your door and demand four Garibaldi biscuits.

In London, it is said that should a pregnant woman see a Morris Dancer eating a banana fritter, she will give birth to a three-headed baby.

In Exeter, Morris Dancing is banned under pain of torture. Thanks to poor wording, this law also extends to anyone named Morris who is found dancing.

Superstition claims that Morris Dancers will steal first-born puppies for unholy sacrifices where they will summon up the Lord of the Dance on St Swithin’s Day. Even now, dog breeders will try to avoid mating with their dogs in the months before, should the birth occur around this time.

However, in recent years, the Morrismen Defence League (MDL) has tried to counter such claims, and is pressuring the government to enact a Morris Rights Law that will see the cult accepted as an authentic religion.

Posted in Folklore & Superstition, Places, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »