
Tinky Winky was a gun-obsessed coke fiend
The worst massacre in the bloody history of children’s television came in 1997, when Teletubby Tinky Winky went on a PCP-fuelled rampage, killing six and injuring dozens more.
The masscare began when it was announced that the Teletubbies TV series was to be cancelled. Tinky Winky, who in addition to having a serious cocaine habit was known as a ‘gun nut’ and loose cannon, began to panic about how he would pay for his expensive lifestyle and huge gambling debts, believing that the successful series had effectively typecast him.
After a day of drinking and drug-taking, the deranged Tubby entered the BBC’s headquarters and opened fire at random. Ironically, among those killed was the now-retired Andy Pandy, who was at the studios to be interviewed for an episode of World’s Greatest Wooden Puppets, and who was one of Tinky Winky’s idols.
Eventually, after a five hour standoff with police, Tinky Winky took his own life. The case later led to new government legislation that banned furry children’s TV characters from owning handguns.