The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

Posts Tagged ‘World Record’

The Longest Novel

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on December 7, 2009

Night of the Crabs

Guy N. Smith's literary masterpiece

The longest novel ever written is Guy N. Smith’s Night of the Crabs, which was first published in 1976 at 7,659 pages long. While hailed as a literary masterpiece, the novel’s dense language, intricate plot twists and relentless levels of sex and violence (one death scene runs for over three hundred pages) proved too much for many readers.
Smith later relented, and produced a shorter version of the book for more simple-minded readers, and this became a standard text for schools in the 1980s.

Posted in Facts and Figures, Horror, Literature, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Most Expensive Film of All Time

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 28, 2009

The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!

This hugely expensive special effects spectacular sadly bombed at the box office

The most expensive film ever made is 1972 production The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!, made by director Andy Milligan. The film cost a staggering $350 million to produce, mainly due to Milligan’s insistence on multiple takes of each scene, and the ground-breaking special effects used to stage spectacular fight scenes between werewolves and rats.

Unfortunately, the film was beset with post-production difficulties and distribution problems compounded by cinemas being unable to cope with the 360 degree projection format and live, hungry rats that were released in the theatre at key points in the film. The eventual box-office take was a disappointing $37.50.

 

Posted in Facts and Figures, Film and TV, Horror, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Tallest And The Shortest

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 28, 2009

The Tallest and the Shortest

Big Jim and Little Johnny make quite a team

The tallest man in the world is Big Jim Pigslugger of Akron, who stands an impressive 5ft 3in (1.61 metres) tall.

The world’s shortest man is John ‘ Johnny’ Phaal of Phuket, Thailand, who is a mere 5ft 1in (1.55 metres) in height.

Posted in Facts and Figures, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The World’s Greatest Lover

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 26, 2009

Jimmy Cricket, the World's Greatest Lover

And there's more - in his pants

The title of World’s Greatest Lover is often open to debate, but most experts agree that it is Irish comedian Jimmy Cricket, 64, who is estimated to have bedded over 10,000 women, beating Bernard Manning’s record by an astonishing 10,000. Cricket, who currently lives in a Hollywood mansion surrounded by teenage models, puts his success down to his sensitivity and romantic nature. And a very large penis.

Posted in Celebrity, Sexuality, World Records | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

William Shatner, Chilli Champion

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 26, 2009

William Shatner Loves Hot Chilli Peppers

The 38th chilli was one too far for Shatner

Actor William Shatner holds the world Chilli Pepper Eating Record, having consumed 37 brutally hot Red Savina peppers in just one minute during a 1966 contest organised by TV producer Gene Rodenberry.  It was this remarkable stamina that ultimately gained him the role of Captain Kirk in Star Trek; his predecessor, Jeffrey Hunter, had managed a measly four peppers before giving up, casting doubts on his ability to play the sort of man who would have sex with a different alien species every week.

Posted in Celebrity, Film and TV, Food and Drink | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

World’s Tallest Building

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 25, 2009

Earth, as seen from the top of the Ginster Tower

The view from the top floor is impressive

Completed in 1955, the tallest building in the world is located in the English town of Oldham. The Ginster Tower stands eleventeen thousand feet tall, and it takes three days for the elevator to reach the top floor, where pressure suits, oxygen masks and weighted shoes are required – this floor is currently home to HSBC’s customer complaints department, where face-to-face enquiries are dealt with. At present, the elevator is out of order (having broken down in 1956) and staff on the higher floors now reside there permanently, breeding new generations of feral subhumans who communicate with the outside world only through computer-generated form letters and final demands.

The building is a popular landmark  and tourist attraction in Oldham, and has featured on the local currency (the Groat), although some locals complain that it is a filthy eyesore since the cleaning contract with NASA expired in 1987. It is also a favourite suicide hotspot, with approximately 167, 503 people having killed themselves by jumping from various floors.

Posted in Death, Facts and Figures, Places, World Records | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »