The Big Book of Lies

It's not big and it's not a book

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  • Credit where Credit is Due

    With thanks and credit to Monty Python and The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies (p.74, The Brand New Monty Python Bok), which amused me immensely as a teenager and eventually helped inspire the site you are reading now. Not an ENTIRELY wasted youth then.

Posts Tagged ‘Yokels’

The Origins of Cockney Speak

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 29, 2009

pearly king and queen

Cockernis had a primitive facination with shiny objects

Cockney Rhyming Slang was invented in 1974 by the CIA as a way of transmitting coded messages to agents across the world.

It was based loosely on the lost native language of the Cockerni tribe of East London, a small and inbred group of proto-humans that thrived in the Bronze Age. Cockernis were noted for their peculiar forms of native dance, which they would break into at the drop of a wallet, and their fascination for adorning their bodies with shiny beads and pebbles (or ‘pearls’ as they called them). The tribe was ruled over by a King and Queen, who were more often than not both brother and sister and husband and wife, and survived for many centuries before being wiped out in a violent civil war.

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Posted in Crime, Folklore & Superstition, History | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Most Dangerous Game

Posted by Arthur St John Bodysnatcher on November 25, 2009

Evil Water Vole

I'm coming for your whole family!

The most dangerous animal in the world is the water vole, known for its short temper and lust for human blood. In 2005 – the last year that figures were released – over 45,000 people worldwide were killed by vole attacks, with thousands more injured. A water vole can strip the flesh from a human being in less than 60 seconds, and rabid packs of the furry killers are now to be found in most country villages, where they are both feared and worshipped by local inbreds.

Posted in Death, Horror, Nature | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »